Tuesday, December 12, 2006

INTENSE TEACHING

ARE YOU READY TO BE SCHOOOOOLLLED...?!?!?
I SAID ARE YOU READY FOR THE MOST INTENSE SCHOOLING THAT EVER SCHOOLED A FOOL?!??!!?

Today we officially started "WINTER INTENSIVE" classes which is like normal school but MORE INTENSE. Basically all of our 7-11 year old elementary kids have to come to school for an extra 80 minutes a week. Ergo we prepare for an extra 80 minutes. This means more homework for them and more marking for us. We get paid for the extra time teaching but not for the prep and marking. Our kids don't get paid at all, unless you consider watching your childhood pass by slowly a form of payment. Intense payment.

Our elementary kids are a diverse bunch, each with his or her own after school activities. Some of my kids only go to two hogwans in addition to public school. Maybe Little Brown and some sport or music lesson. Others, like my poor ECIII class girls, have about five extra hogwans in addition to their elementary schooling. They go home at 7:30 pm and are a bitch to teach because their brains melted some five hours ago. This is the price of a solid, rock hard, INTENSE education.

In the interest of improving our school I have come up with the following ways to make WINTER INTENSIVE even more... you know... INTENSE!!!!

1) Have class outside in our underwear. The gentle cool breeze with keep students alert and give new meaning to the words WINTER INTENSIVE.

2) Instead of sharpening pencils students will sharpen their fingers.

3) Lewis should observe every class, with a microscope.

4) Give everyone a gun and see what happens.

5) One word: electrodes

6) Lessons are taught in English, backwards.

7) Friday is "bring an anthropological sociologist to school" day. Students who have a bad attitude and choose not to participate will fail life.

8) Memorize the dictionary.

9) Memorize the medical dictionary.

10) No one leaves until the water cooler is full... with tears.

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